They say when u meet the right person,ur senses starts to not make sense.Wad we read in novels when they tell u tat u will feel tat "zingy" feeling inside u or in other case ,ur stomouch stars to summer slault.we all thinl that is bullshit n crap but to many in the realistic world,they hv felt it b4.I definitely hv nvrr had tat feeling n I'm not a strong beleiver of it.I hv literally given up on relationships or those sweet love or watever since my 3rd relationship failed n tore me apart so badly.Since den I hv chosen a safe path but yet nw I am at my 5th relationship n its going down the drain,I feel it n sense it n there was no sparkle at all in my current relatinship.
Yesterday,a heart pounding n mind aching thing had happen,lil did I noe the pet brother that I always hv wan to protect from the likes of ppl like myself kissed me.I noe he likes me but I juz don't think I'm "d" gal for him.He is very sweet n honest n the innocents I see in him is still there n I really don't wan him to lose tat.I am not proud of wad I hv did in my past n I am not proud of my lifestyle nw.I don't want him to be hurt,I juz wan him to be happy.n nw, we r not in talking terms.I feel so guilty n I feel hurt at the same time tat our frenship has juz stop there,at tat night,at tat kiss.I wish things were the way they used to be,I wish he could juz understand how much he means to me but I can't make it more than tat bcuz I juz can't even understand wat I want.I hv a strange feeling for him but I juz don't know wad it is.The moment his lips touched mine,I was almost out of controll,I had to force myself to pull bcuz in the bck of my head,it didn't wan to stop juz there.he was right that I had second thoughts in my head at that moment but I cannot do it.its not the right time n not the right thing.- juz don't know wat to do n wad I want.I only wish nw tat we could heal bck our frenship.
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