This month is probably my worst nitemare n my worst month of my life.Not only i lost my grandmother,i dont even know how to console my mother n my family has shrunk to 3 person n we're not connecting well.Besides that, my fren is hunting me down for money cuz she thinks i'm gonna run away or something n willinglessly o beleive me.I dont care a dam bout that but to top the worst of the worst is my heart got shattered again.
I think i'm such a failure when it comes to relationship.Ntg i do can work things out in a relationship.But that is not important bcuz i dun mind.Bt last nite was probably the only sweetest memory but yet bitter n painfull of my life.He was there 4 me during my worst of falling,I didnt tell him everything bcuz i dont wanna burden his heart with my tears,all i could hope for is him to be happy."Friens" was the only thing that could be between us.
It was my fault that i can so easily let my heart to fall for him.But i nvr regretted althougth it feels like i've been stab a knife through my heart.At least there's always a lil part of him in me.I accept his apology n trust him.Y friends,i dont know but i dont want to know either.
Alcohol n ciggrattes is my life n my cure to fade the scar away.I cannot hope for anyhting more den friends.i juz want this pain to fade away.i cannot tk another heart ache abymore,i hv fallen so painfull n i hate the feeling n hate the pain in my heart.I only wish to drink everyday to make it go away.
I dont want him to know nor see me that way.i only want him to see the best of me n not the weakest part of me.
But i nvr regretted in anyway.
